Screwed.edu
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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