In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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