Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
