i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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