I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
