I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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