i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
