dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
