We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
