suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
