It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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