I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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