did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
