new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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