her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
