did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
