Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize