When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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