he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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