We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
