And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
