why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
