I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my vag is so smooth its legendary
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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