so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
