he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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