The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
