When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize