You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My vagina just recognized that song.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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