i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
