well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
