Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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