I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
