Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
