my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
