I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
