Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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