i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
