My first STD was from a foam party
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
