is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
