You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
love makes seman taste better
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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