I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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