i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I checked into jail on foursquare
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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