all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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