Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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