the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
