I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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