Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
