he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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