I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
