The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
