whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
