Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
