i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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