I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
