i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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