Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I had to cum in my sink.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
