so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
