Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
