AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
