My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
