If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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