YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
