You're completely useless in the revolution.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
