it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
