were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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