i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
