I want to stick my p in your. b.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize