I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
