ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize