ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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