they need to just BURY HIM!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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