why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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