You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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