I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
