there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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